So I am down to the last bit of editing on my book. During the editing process, quite a number of pages were cut for various reasons, but I think the length is good. I'm currently at 52,781 words (about 185 pages) after editing. Who knows what the final product will look like. Perhaps it will be a bit longer, but this is how it stands today on my computer. I'm really happy with it and almost ready to let it go.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
"Let it go" doesn't mean I'm ready to walk away. It means I'm ready to let it be whatever it's going to be in the world. This book is like a baby. It came from me, but it does not belong to me. I authored it, but I cannot know how it will affect each person who reads it.
But I think I'm ready...or getting close to being ready! At least I'm ready to surrender over the written part. There's so much that goes into writing and publishing a book. The book process is far from over, but the "written part" is pretty much DONE! There will be more stories here on the process. After all, it still has to come out.
I feel a mixture of fear and excitement rolled into one. It's my life. I didn't hold much back. I let it all out and soon (7 months from now) it will be on book shelves across North America for all to read. My life will be exposed. I will be exposed. This sort of makes me want to hide under a rock for the next three years or so. But I'm trying to also "let go" of the "I".
If I look deeper, I realize that there really isn't much difference between "you" and "me". Yes, we have different stories, but we have all experienced pain, suffering, love, loss, grief, confusion, joy, etc. My hope is that through sharing my journey, we can connect. Each one of us is so unique, but there is also something universal about our human experience.
So I'm willing to put it all out there. I'm willing to release my story into the world, in spite of all my fears, in order to share part of my journey with you. Because I know writing it was so helpful to me in understanding how I got to where I am right now. If it was helpful to me, perhaps it will be helpful to you. It was not an easy road. I wasn't always a happy person.
But somehow, along the way, I was willing to become a happy person. Somewhere on my journey I decided to let go of the negativity. And somewhere on my journey I not only decided, but came to believe that I could be anyone I wanted to be. And once I made that decision, I stuck by it.
And I'm still sticking by it.
Soon this thing I created will come out. I wonder what it will look like? I wonder how it will be received? I really don't know, but I'm sticking by it.
And I'm also going to let it go.
Lesson from the Monk I Married will be published by Seal Press March 2012. This post also appears on my blog.