One should always stay in touch

With their inner child.


Mine is a bit of a misfit and delinquent. Halloween brings it out in me. I get this irresistible urge to prank people.



Hello, my name is Tressa, and I'm addicted to harmless pranking. There I've said it. There is no cure and I am about to fall off the wagon. We have a blue moon this month. It has to be a sign!!!



Here are a few of my favorites:


I just call this one RANSOM. We all know that person who has an unnatural affection for some common everyday item. It could be a remote control, a service bell, a door wreath. You must obtain that item and replace it with an appropriate ransom note. I like to actually cut out magazine letters and paste them on paper, but there are several ransom note generators on the internet that you can access for free. Be sure to ask for cookies or something you really covet like that green sweater. The real trick is to do all this unnoticed. It takes a bit of planning. Its best to make the swap during a family gathering. More people more better. You want to increase the suspect pool as much as possible. Be sure to leave the ransom note in the same place that the item was whether it was between the couch cushions or hanging on the door. Then wait.


Collect your goodies, return the item and expect to get busted....but hopefully you will have cookies so it won't matter.

Another favorite of mine is the GIFT WRAPPED CAR. It takes 2 people. This works best on older models with old fashioned grip handles but can be adjusted for other models. You will need soft rope, thick yarn or satin ribbon for this one. A lot of it....we are talking 10 yards or more depending on how thorough you want to be. Make sure its soft and the color won't run--you don't want to damage the paint job. You and your partner align on opposite sides of the car and basically wrap it up from under the car to over the car. Then I like to tie a pretty bow on top. I knot it so that my prankee gets the full idea. When the prankee tells you about this...laugh and pretend you didn't do it.

My sloppier sister once pulled this prank on my clean-freak sister: I just call it NEXT TO GODLINESS. It was Halloween and we were taking all our children out together. I was my sloppier sister's foil. We explained to our clean-freak sister that she wasn't feeling well, so of course the clean freak and I would be the ones who took her children with us while she rested. This gave sloppy sister a good 2 hours at neatniks house. Sloppy pulled a lot of small pranks....moving around knic knacks and personal items to make her go "hmmmmm", changing the way the cabinets were organized and that sort of thing but my favorite of all was when Sloppy soaped her windows from the inside out!!!! OMG it was 3 days before we told the neatnic that we'd done it..... The trick is...use mirror writing. It was beautiful.

Wow I can really feel my inner juvenile delinquent coming out! No I won't go crashing parties tonight! However if you ever want to, the trick is to hang out with your punch glass sipping until you catch the name of a popular person. Then go up to that person and tell them "Wow...OMG haven't seen you in freakin forever......" Trust me, the popular ones never want to give it away that they don't remember you and you are in.....

Happy Haunting!

Are you ready for some football?!?!

I live in South Bend, Indiana. Most people have no idea where that is until I say the magic words NOTRE DAME. Notre Dame is actually a town unto itself these days, but originally its address was South Bend. We also have Holy Cross, St. Mary's, and Bethel College as well as Brown Mackie, Ivy Tech and IUSB. Some would call us a college town and that would be true, but Notre Dame is more than a university, its an American institution which makes us a tourist town. Notre Dame provides the largest employment base in the area and is supplemented by conference halls and numerous hotels providing lodging for Notre Dame related events. I work at the best hotel (yep I said that), Holiday Inn located in the City Center Building....that's us....the tallest building (and the best views) in the area.

Notre Dame students provide volunteerism for our social programs as well. You can find these earnest students contributing to our city in numerous ways from reading to inner city children to helping to build Habitat for Humanity homes. These students are at every food drive and every walkathon in our financially strapped community. They are helping us to rebuild after the disasterous turn the Nation's economy took a few years back. They are good people. I'm proud that we, as a community, have something to do with these incredible young men and women.

I meet the students often. They often come to stay at our hotel during thier college interviews and of course for games and to visit their visiting parents. Good kids.

So this would be enough to make our community grateful, but Notre Dame also provides Notre Dame sports....the most famous of which is FOOTBALL!!!! We love football around here. Blue and Gold are our colors followed closely by green. We are the FIGHTING IRISH.

If we can't go to the games, every bar and major restaurant in town, even the local Burger King, has them on big screen for us. We call out to the players by first name as if we know them personally. Jimmy is our first born son right now. He can do no wrong or no right depending on who you talk to. Tailgating is a verb. If we can't tailgate for real, we have tailgate parties. My neighbors BBQ in 30 degree weather and watch the game from a big screen TV in the Garage while having a freezing party outside in the driveway. Being cold is part of the experience. If the players are cold....then we want to be too.

My 16 year old son puts up signs on our front door during the biggest games of the year. NO MICHIGAN FANS ALLOWED. USC FANS ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. He means it. He has a squirt gun. A big one and he's not shy about using it. He will be your friend every day but game day. On game day YOU are the ENEMY. You must be soaked.

We live and breathe Notre Dame football. We love them and hate them and yell at the players like they are our own misbehaving children when they don't play the way we want. We also shed tears for them for every disappointment and every incredible win.

I don't even understand all the rules and I've won on two football pools this year. The only rule I need to understand is WE ARE NOTRE DAME.

GO IRISH!!! Beat USC! (sorry USC...this year we really want it!)

My Ode to Bellies, Boobies and Butts

I just want to say thank you to Dove, Glamour Magazine , Drop Dead Diva and pop media (collectively) for making it ok to eat again. The average American woman is a size 14. We have bellies, boobies and butts. Size 0 is not average and may not even be healthy.



Originally Jamie Lee Curtis tried to give real women a dose of self esteem by allowing herself to be photographed without make-up or touch-ups. She's amazing. The idea just kind of died off for a few years though.

Dove recently jump-started it all again with its Real Beauty campaign. Pop media hosts like Tyra, Oprah and many others are great at the self empowerment issues and really understand the plight of us who used to be thin but just can't go there anymore.

Drop Dead Diva is awesome. The main character carries herself with grace and dresses herself with style while maintaining an amazing intellect and beautiful outlook on life. She makes me feel that its ok to eat a donut now and again.

I especially love the recent spread in Glamour Magazine. If only I could find some decent clothes to put over the underwear I would be happy. I had to do the happy-feet dance when I spotted a real belly.

Its ok to be average. Well I guess technically average is plus size. But really....its ok now. All the media is telling us so but.....

All the really good clothing is only made for size 12 and under. When I shop at most department stores I sift through clothes that even my Grandmother would not have worn. The few clothes I find in my size are made for high-school girls going through the supposed *fat* stage. Not for a grown-up to wear to the office, or a single but respectable mother to wear on a date. I pretty much live in separates. I have over 20 different styles of black slacks/jeans/skirts.


This picture of me is about a year old....maybe a year and a half. I am 5' 4 1/2" tall and I wear a size 14. I am 47 years old. I now represent the REAL American woman.

I'm not going to lie. I'd love to be a size 8 again . But I am not willing to be. I would have to work out 4 hours a day and starve myself. I would wake up from hunger pangs in the middle of the night. I would feel guilt every time I ate a donut. That magical size 8 supposedly reflects the best BMI for me, but its not going to happen. I enjoy those donuts too much now, its a quality of life issue.

All I'm working on now is toning it up. Accepting what is left. Trying to feel good about myself. I am average, a word I hate. I am not an average kind of person, I'm just thick around the middle. I have a belly, boobies and a butt.

Can't we just call this normal instead?

It is a Woman's World and I like it that way

I am so excited and honored to have been asked to contribute to this blog! (Thank you Carly).


What a great opportunity to communicate with other women! I've been asked to start out by filling out this short questionairre, and I'm happy to do so....so lets begin.
Allow me to introduce myself:

NAME:

My name is Tressa Bailey. Its pronounced exactly as it is spelled. Only 1 e and that e is "short". As a child I hated my first name. It was different than everyone else's and no kid wants that. I like it now. It suits me. I don't know whether I lived up to the odd name or it lived up to me. Sometimes I'm called, Tess or Tressie. Usually by my family.

LOCATION:

I live in South Bend, Indiana. Home of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish!!!! It is the best cross-match you will ever find of Small Town and Big City. I've lived here all my life and despite the fact that I absolutely hate our very cold and very snowy Winters....I'll probably never leave. Hopefully I will be able to share why in future posts.

AGE:

Mentally about 30, physically it depends on the day, but actually 47. I'll be 48 on January 31, 2010.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BLOGGING FOR:

It has to be at least 10 years or so now...in one form or another. I had diaries and pen pals as a child, journals as a teen and young adult. Maybe I just like to talk a lot!!!

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTION THE MEDIA GIVES OF WOMEN:

That we are actually (only) equal to men. Seriously... ladies that only applies in the workforce. In real life we are different than men. Better in a lot of ways and maybe not so good in a few. We should just be who we are. Being a woman is a wonderful stroke of luck. We feel emotions so much stronger. That is not a bad thing!!! We have instincts that few men can touch and tend to be healthier and live longer. We can use both sides of our brain at the same time. We are prettier as a rule. I don't understand why we are still comparing ourselves to men. We can do anything we want without doing that. Its like comparing apples to oranges... completely different fruits, but together they make a helluva fruit salad. I love being a woman!!! Viva la difference!

WHAT INSPIRES YOU THE MOST:

Babies. Seriously. If all adults had the capacities to accept and learn combined with the tenacity to carry on after failures that a baby does, well this world would be completely different and probably a much better planet in which to live.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY DOING IN YOUR SPARE TIME:

Obviously I write. Blogging, essays, commentary and poetry. I've had a love/hate thing going on with words my whole life. I also love hanging out with my kids and my family and friends when I have free time. I do various crafts and love museums, festivals, movies and a hike once in a while. I'm also a pretty good cook. I hope to actually write the recipes I've been throwing together for years down so I can share a few with you.

WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS BLOG:

Well I was asked. I checked it out and knew almost instantly that I wanted to be a part of this. Real women writing for real women! I'm all about being real.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE DISH:

My specialties include: Mom's potato salad with a twist, some really great chili and salisbury steak. I also know the secret to that great chicken served at polish wedding feasts! I don't do too much fat free cooking.... My family originated in the South!

YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO SPEND TIME:

Home is where my heart is. My home, my friend's, my family's homes... After that, I'm kind of geeky. I could hang out in museums of all types for days on end with libraries following close behind. I also love going to work at the Hotel everyday. Its really great!

WHAT MAKES YOU PROUD TO BE A WOMAN:

Whoever said this was a man's world lied. We women control the heart of the world. We raise the men we so often claim are running it, we inspire the great changes by nudging our children in the direction they need to go, we stop the wars with our tears. I am proud to be a woman because we love so easily and completely. Proud that we change the world with soft touches and strong hugs. Proud that we communicate wishes and dreams that are made reality by our sons and daughters. No body lives without a beating heart. We are the heart in the body of humanity. YAY US!

BEST PIECE OF ADVICE YOU EVER RECEIVED WAS:

When I was a young girl, I was feisty and a bit spoiled (imagine that!). I was very jealous of a young lady in my band class, she was first seat - I was second. We competed in almost everything and in this one class she was beating me. Seriously it was killing me. I complained to my Grandpa. My Grandpa was the wisest man I've ever known. He asked me a series of questions, the most outstanding being "how much do you practice?". Then he hung his head and told me quite bluntly that the other girl probably deserved the seat more than I because great rewards come only with great labor. This has stuck with me my entire life. Everything reflects the effort you put into it.