Married? Read this.

You Should Have Sex With Your Partner to Make Him Happy

{via}

"'Sex becomes yet another item on your to-do list, and you think you have to do it for the sake of your marriage and the happiness of your spouse,' says Dr. Lombardo. While neither of those reasons is wrong, they shouldn’t be the only reasons."

One of the 'myths' that this great slideshow/article shows the married people that not all that marriage advice is true.

Others are:

-If There’s No Spark, You’re Doomed

-Always Put the Kids First

Read more here.

Mother, the heart of the Family.

Nations rise and fall, empires prosper or crumble and men are stirred to great accomplishments or driven to shameful failure often because of the influence of a wife or mother. The wise poet has properly said, "The hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world."

For most women, motherhood is a great privilege, a crowning joy and sublime fulfillment. Perhaps the greatest privilege of motherhood is that of sharing a giving. No one shares and give as a mother does. She shares her body with another in order to conceive. She shares it again with her unborn child. Then, she shares her time, energy, and talent with it after it is born in order to meet its needs and help it to grow and develop. But most of all, she shares her heart and her love as she weeps, laughs, sorrows and rejoices with her child through the months and years of it's life.

Motherhood, while being a great privilege, also involves obligation. No task on earth requires more dedication, greater skill or fuller commitment. Her responsibilities demand devotion to the highest ideals and patient perseverance over long years of time. Her task is formidable because there is no human obligation that is less adaptable to substitution than motherhood. You can substitute for the teacher, policeman, governor, and almost anyone else- but no one has found an adequate substitute for a mother's love.

Happy and blessed are the home and the children of a loving, devoted mother. Happy Mother's Day!


**I am looking forward to sharing my life with my first born child in only 5 short weeks. I only hope that I can be half the mother that my own is. :)

Much Love,
Rachael

http://aubreyjune.blogspot.com

365 Lessons-Lesson 124: Stress is Caused by You

Now I know some people would like to slap me for saying, "You cause your own stress." It's the last thing you wanted to hear, right? But it is true. Do you feel stress right now? Are you having difficulty balancing all the things in your life? Why do you do this to yourself?

Recently I read a book called Midnights with the Mystic. It's the story author Cheryl Simone tells of her conversations with Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, a yogi, mystic and visionary. The conversations take place at her lake house in North Carolina, where Sadhguru and his assistant stayed as guests. The book is called Midnights with the Mystic because most of the conversations take place around a fire near the lake at midnight. I was extremely inspired by this guru's words and particulary about his view on stress in America. I'd like to share these words here:

Cheryl: "Many people in this country are so stressed out and it is ruining their lives. What can they do about it?"

Sadhguru: "First of all, why are people becoming stressed? When I first came to the United States a few years ago, wherever I went, I noticed people were talking about stress management. I could not understand that. Why would anybody want to manage their stress? You want to manage things you value, don't you? Do you want to manage things you don't care for? I can understand that you want to manage your business, your property, your family, your money, things like that, but why stress?

It took me a while to understand that people have come to the conclusion that there is no way to live without stress. Stress is an accepted part of life here. But the truth is that stress is not a part of life except when you have lost your sanity. Stress is not happening because your job is difficult. It is happening because you are incapable of handling your own systems. You don't know how to manage your body or your mind or your emotions or your energies. If you know that, then nothing is stressful because you are no longer hijacked by external situations."



I say, why wait until the avalanche of stress causes your own demise? Why not make taking care of your body or your mind or your emotions or your energy your TOP priority. Otherwise, taking care of anything else will be futile. Don't make taking care of yourself a passing fad, like the diet of the day, or the workout of the season. Taking care of yourself is a lifetime commitment. Do something every day to nurture yourself. Whether it's yoga or meditation or praying or walking or just focusing on your breath. Now you may gasp when I say this, but you really need an hour or more of your day, every day, free for this. Five minutes is better than nothing, but you won't see much affect when you limit the time you have for taking care of yourself. "But I don't have an hour!" you shout. Oh, yes, you do...you have 24 hours to be exact, and if it's your TOP priority, this taking-care-of-self thing, then you WILL find time for it.

DO IT EVERY DAY, not only when a crisis happens or you become sick. If you practice taking care of yourself and make it part of your life, when a crisis really does happen, you will be ready for it and you will most likely find that it is not really a crisis at all. By taking care of yourself everyday, you are untying the the Gordian knots caused by your own stress and you are making sure that new knots are not formed. You will also find that you don't get sick anymore, that you have boundless amounts of energy, that you can do so many things. Fill up your tank first and then you will find life much easier to live and you have so much more to give.

Also on my blog, Lessons from the Monk I Married, where I am writing 365 Lessons

I Have Seen...

I Have Seen:

Fields of fragrant lavender in Tuscany...

...the steeples of Oxford at cool daybreak...

...the most delicate works of nature in Alaska...

...the sun slipping below the horizon in Chile...

...And they were all nothing compared to watching my baby play with its fingers and suck its thumb in grainy black and white:

:)

-Cindy

http://wherescindynow.blogspot.com

A smack upside the head....

I had to laugh as my friend posted this status on her Facebook page:

Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone, who needs a smack upside the head. People who need a smack upside the head affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a smack upside the head, except a smack upside the head, but we can ...raise awareness. Many won't copy and paste this. I did. Will you?

I didn't copy and paste it, but it got me thinking. We are all not perfect, but there are things that we see (or have happen to us) in our day-to-day lives that should be corrected. We've become so PC in this society...almost to the point of which you are frowned upon for standing up for yourself or for simply doing your job as a spouse, parent, employee etc.

I'm not advocating that everyone start slapping one another silly (well perhaps on occasion), but the point remains that if we don't stand up and speak up for ourselves then our situation can not and will not change. If something is annoying you, it's most likely annoying other people too.

My daughter is in SK. She is 5. I love volunteering in her class for the simple reason these kids say what they mean. They pull no punches. If they don't like something, they will let you know. At times it's comical. I say comical because it's so refreshing to see such honesty. It would be more difficult for them to not speak up. We were all like that at one point. Along the way we change and become more scared to speak up. We start to care too much about what others might think.

I think the SK's in my daughters class are starting to rub off on me! I have noticed that I'm speaking up more and let me tell you it's served me well. I figure it's better to say something than to go home and stew about it. We need to re-learn some of what was taught in SK.

For those of you who do speak up, great! For those who need to, I highly encourage it. I view it as a form of self love.

All the best,

Marnie

http://www.whatsupwithred.blogspot.com

365 Lessons-Lesson 107: Not Everyone is Going to Like What I Have to Say

Not everyone is going to like what I have to say, but hey, I've got to be me. I am writing lessons on my blog, 365 of them to be exact. For the most part, I have gotten such positive feedback. People comment and say, "This is exactly what I needed to hear." or "How did you know that I was dealing with that?"

I never know what's going to come out. I don't plan it. Most of my posts tend to lean on the positive, inspirational side of life, because..well, that's what I feel these days. I know not everyone jives with the positive. People have told me to write more about painful issues. That it's more "real" if I show more misery and pain. But I'm not feeling that so much these days...so what to do?

I have written on my own self doubt, fear, etc. Usually I write what I need to hear. This writing is my medicine. It helps me and from the comments I usually receive, it seems to be helpful for others too.

I write where I am. This is where I am. Whatever you read here is exactly where I am, no more and no less. I don't write what others would like me to write. I'm not trying to please anyone here.

That being said, the greatest gift I have received, as a bi-product of writing my own lessons, is that people actually get something from reading what is written here. That you resonate with something I feel or write and it has actually helped you in your life. This shows me that we are connected and when we write where we are and what we feel at any moment in time, we connect with each other. The truth that shines through from writing about this particular time and this particular moment connects with a greater truth.

If you write from your heart, that's all that matters.

Not everyone is going to like your style. People will tell you you should do it like this, or do it like that or don't write lessons, or write something different, or change your story, or, or, or....

But guess what? Write what you want to write. After all, it's your blog, book, short story, poem, etc. It came from you and YOU are important.

I have a writing group called Writers Rising in Seattle. We read each others writing during our writing sessions and give feedback. Most of it is very constructive feedback. This kind of feedback is very helpful. We all write in very different styles and have different backgrounds.

One writer in our group writes short fiction stories, another has a journalistic approach to novel writing and I'm writing a spiritual memoir. We are all completely different in our approaches, yet we are able to see the beauty in each one of those styles. We respect each others differences and we encourage each other to continue to pursue whatever interest or style we each have.

I'm learning that, for the most part, people are supportive and have constructive things to say.

I'm writing lessons on my blog. Lessons that are important to me. Lessons that I have learned or am still learning. Lessons that have helped me and, from the comments I have received, appear to be helping others. I have also learned that not everyone is going to like what I have to say, and, for whatever reason, may try to dissuade me from continuing. But guess what? I'm going to keep going. I've only just begun. I've got a lot more of this path to cover.

For those of you who have been walking with me all this time, it's been a pleasure and a joy to have you along on this journey, for those who have just met up with me here "WELCOME!" and for those who are on a different path all together, I wish you all the best on your journey.

And finally I leave you with this precious quote from a mastermind, in my opinion:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

reposted from my blog: Lessons from the Monk I Married

Lady Gaga Even Has Crazy Fashion In My Dreams

A Humorously Mundane Moment Experienced Earlier Today:

Ahbuhbuhbuhbuhbuh....buhbuhbuhbuhBUHbuhbuhbuhbuhbuh....

There are a lot of sensory experiences that are pleasant to awake to--a fragrant breakfast cooking, a warm splash of sunlight filtering through the window, a soft "I love you" from a beloved voice...

...the "ahbuhbuhbuhbuhbuh"ing of my ill husband shivering himself awake at four in the morning is not one of those pleasant sensory experiences.

I had been building a porch with my college orchestra director, a coworker, and Lady Gaga when my shivering, shaking, and generally miserable husband woke me from what was quite possibly the strangest dream in history. About 45 minutes, three blankets, two medications, a phone call to Mom to make sure aforementioned medications wouldn't result in death, one imprisonment of the cat (who thought that this was the perfect time to play, wouldn't you?), and five Clorox bleach wipes to clean the bathroom (a side effect from the trapped cat, who thought that throwing litter everywhere was a fun alternative to playing) later, I laid back down next to my (now drugged-up and sleeping) husband and prepared to return to Dreamland and see how the porch was coming along.

And for the record, her fashion sense was just as out there in my dream.

-Cindy

wherescindynow.blogspot.com

did you know

that it’s not illegal in Ethiopia to rape a woman?It’s actually acceptable.
And if you rape someone they are yours to keep.

And if you report a rape then you are forced to marry your attacker.

As much as I love it here, I am so glad those aren’t the rules my life operates under

♥ Single Girl
you can follow my Ethiopian adventures here.

A walk in the park

As we drove home a few days ago, after Atlanta was becoming soggy under so much rain,  our car was filled with late afternoon sunlight. Surprising warm temperatures in the middle of our wet spell prompted a statement from the tiny voice in the backseat, “Maybe we can go to the park again soon.”

A hesitation on my part. The ongoing balance between the litany of things “to do” and the reminder that sometimes an impromptu visit to the park is a perfect addition to the day.  And the realization there will always be a litany of things to do. My response “Today seems like a great day to go” was received with a giant smile.

Sun pours between the trees as tiny feet race to the swings. As he only wants the “big kid” swings now, the set of bucket seats is ignored as he races by them. I remember those racing feet accompanied by racing heart when I was a kid. You know what comes next: Push me, Mommy!

And after several minutes he asks, “Do you want to swing too?”

I feel the pulse of the Blackberry ball and chain in my pocket. Just one more tool to remind me of tasks, emails, chores, upcoming appointments.

But yes, baby. I want to swing too.

Giggles are the primary soundtrack as we race to see who can go higher. Even when you have not sat on a swing in a long time, you never forget how to rise.  And for an unexpected detour, I embrace it.

And as my son laughs with his entire heart, he tries to mimic the moves as I rise higher.

I lift up.

Sunrays splashing through my arc.

I float through perfect air.

I remember how much I used to love this simple act.

And I remember the wonderment of freedom, freedom, freedom.

And yes, sometimes an impromptu walk in the park is a perfect addition to the day.  And I appreciate the reminder from my son that is a good idea for grown-ups to play on the swings once in awhile too. 

Have a great weekend. 

Driver Seat

At 35 years old, I am more comfortable in my skin then I have ever been in my entire life. I no longer need the validation from anyone to know that I am beautiful and smart. I wear what I want to wear, I no longer allow food to control my life, and I no longer hold malice and resentment in my heart. I feel free as bird to do as I please!

I made a decision about 3 months ago, to no longer depend on anyone else to make me happy. I have taken that responsibility back. I have made the decision to tell the people that I like, I like them, people who are toxic to beat it and people who inspire me thank you.

Sitting around dreaming about who I want to be is not enough anymore; I am now in the driver seat!

Are you driving, or still in the passenger seat?

Chantale Merchant