Monday, August 3, 2009

Why do we continue to beat ourselves up with a whip when we could be using a feather?

I posted this on my Safe Space Blog in July and because I believe we could all use a feather at certain times, I wanted to share it with you all here in this space!

I heard this saying the other day.....and it got me thinking....

We often treat ourselves so harshly, we are sometimes our own worse critics and we judge ourselves too fiercely. Why do we do this? Well, in my opinion, it is because we feel we need to always be doing stuff. We start doing something we enjoy only to think we should be doing something else. So we go do the other thing and then start to question if this is the best use of our time. We chop and change and muddle ourselves into a place where we are frustrated and upset.

We can choose what we give attention to. At work, at home, at play, in our interactions with people. We can focus on the why of everything or we can choose to stop and become conscious of where our thoughts are taking us. If we can begin to see a pattern of self-abuse (and that is really what is going on here) we can say to ourselves....Am I beating myself up with a whip or can I bring out the feather?
Become more gentle with ourselves. We are not superhuman, we cannot do everything all of the time, we can cultivate ways to have time to just be and not feel like we have to be always on the go. Constantly jumping from one thing to the next.

  • When you are feeling tired and under pressure- Breathe, drop your shoulders, stretch, let out a sigh and a big yawn....
  • When it is a certain time of the month and you can't concentrate on much at all- bring out the feather......lie down, shut your eyes for as long as you can....if you are at work (and if you can) excuse yourself and take a gentle walk, even if it is only 5 minutes.
  • Don't think of complex problems or try to find solutions when all you are doing is running around headless and making more work for yourself.....STOP and ask yourself, what do I need right at this moment to cultivate a bit of self-care and love in which I may find the answers?
  • Plan a free plans, nowhere to go or people to see.
  • Make a list of things you could do when you feel it's feather time....My list includes: Taking a bubble bath, listen to a whole album whilst lying on the couch (with nothing else to do), immerse myself in a good fiction novel, meditate, listen to Hay House Radio archives.
What will your list look like?


Womans World Magazine said...

I LOVE this! My list would include:


Enjoying a green tea

Wii fit - Yoga!

Crusing the internet

Watching a good dvd

Yvonne Anderson said...

Great Ideas Carly,

I love a good cup of green tea!

Marie S said...

Breathing makes all the difference sometimes.
Thank you for this enlightening article!