Sunday, July 26, 2009

The FACT is, iM not sure I like kids

I know that is BLASPHEMOUS to say as a woman. BUT there are times I wonder, DO I even like kids? I must, I mean there are five of us in my family. I GREW up watching kids, playing with them, working in a children’s portrait studio, studying human development, working with them in the foster care system. So I MUST like kids, right?

It would only make sense…I have two almost three nieces that I ADORE and spoil. Two CRAZY little girls who are [fun/hilarious/cute/ annoying/girlie/loud/full of energy]. Two little girls who entertain me while making me crazy. BUT i love them, more than i ever thought I could.

My friends have kids that I pick up and cuddle and smooch and love.

And then there were these three little boys. Technically my cousins, but so much younger that they seem more like distant relatives.
I offered {on a whim at my sister’s wedding to watch them for a weekend}.
My aunt was desperate for a weekend away, it had been YEARS. So I agreed. Flew to CA. Stayed for the weekend.

PROOF I like Kids, I was caught with them all the time at the wedding. iM the fun one!

doesn't it look like iM having fun? AND I was, for the most part.

Then reality set in. These kids don't know me. They were hard work. They screamed, and kicked, and missed their parents. And that is when I wondered, DO I EVEN LIKE KIDS? I mean I had fun with these little guys. They also drove me crazy. I hated waking up at 5:30am, on a Saturday. I loathed having to wrangle all three of them at church alone. I was disgusted helping one of them clean up after wetting themselves for the 5th time. I don’t like to whip butts or play cars or clean up dog poop. SO WHAT was I doing here?

I talked with a friend who said: I guess we know you aren’t ready to have babies
And the ladies at church made jokes about this being the best birth control
And I laughed. Then I wondered, is something wrong with me?

but I kept telling myself: I LOVE KIDS. And then I realized, I don’t LOVE KIDS, I love kids that I KNOW. That I spend a lot of time with. That I know their rules, and if I can put them in time out, or smack their little hands, or their favorite games to play, or songs to sing.
I love kids that I KNOW.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time with my cousins. They tricked me into letting them watch X Men, Sorry Brenda…and we made pizza’s and we had a lovely time.

When it was over, I was ready to get headed back to my single life. Where I can sleep in if I want. Where I can stay up late if I want. Where I control my schedule. Where I can spend time with the kids I love on my own terms: in two hour blocks, in their house or at the park.

So when I saw my dear friend Paula, and her SUPER cute daughter Izzie, I picked her up kissed her cheeks and handed her right back. To her mom, where she belonged.

it wil be my turn. and When it is, I will LOVE being a mom. I will enjoy the craziness of it all. When it is my turn, they will be MY KIDS, and I will love them.
Until then I will love the kids I know, spend more time with my cousins and tolerate the neighbor kids.
and for now, iM ok with that.
♥ Single Girl


SoFiA said...

I completely agree.
At this point of my life I don't want kids. nO wAy!!!

Like you, I love spending time with my boyfriends nieces and nephews and my small cousins, BUT I return them at the end of the day. I get to give them again to their parents, I don't take them home.

I'm not yet sure if I ever want to have kids, and that might change in the future, but I am truly not ready to be called mommy right now. Nope. It is just a whole other universe being called mom and I just don't want to travel there yet... =)

Single Girl said...

me either

and some times when i see snot nosed kids out in public,i REALLY dony want kids.

though for the most part i love the ones i know!

Yvonne Anderson said...

I do tend to agree with you. I love my niece and nephew and my godson but do not have any inclination to have any of my own. Lucky my hubby and I are on the same page.

The Girl in the Yellow Shoes said...

Too funny! I do have one baby, and sometimes I still feel like this! :) I adore the kids I know, but love to give them back, and the ones I don't know...sometimes make me wonder. But, when it is your time (and please, don't rush--there's no turning back!), you will love your own. And, if you decide kids aren't for you...that's good too! I loved this post! Thanks for the good laugh!

Marie S said...

LOL!!! I think you all are very smart women. It is a big commitment. Yes there are all these wonderful things that come from having kids, but it is a big commitment and for the rest of your life. Thank you for the laugh yellow shoes. I know exactly what you are saying, I have 3 girls and 2 grandchilden and I feel this way, LOL!!!
Well done single girl, a great and honest post!!

Single Girl said...

Its a good thing I have some time before I have to get there.

iM loving my life where it is at. For now.

Womans World Magazine said...

I COMPLETELY agree! I have always had the same conflicting emotions!