I know that is BLASPHEMOUS to say as a woman. BUT there are times I wonder, DO I even like kids? I must, I mean there are five of us in my family. I GREW up watching kids, playing with them, working in a children’s portrait studio, studying human development, working with them in the foster care system. So I MUST like kids, right?
And then there were these three little boys. Technically my cousins, but so much younger that they seem more like distant relatives.
doesn't it look like iM having fun? AND I was, for the most part.
Then reality set in. These kids don't know me. They were hard work. They screamed, and kicked, and missed their parents. And that is when I wondered, DO I EVEN LIKE KIDS? I mean I had fun with these little guys. They also drove me crazy. I hated waking up at 5:30am, on a Saturday. I loathed having to wrangle all three of them at church alone. I was disgusted helping one of them clean up after wetting themselves for the 5th time. I don’t like to whip butts or play cars or clean up dog poop. SO WHAT was I doing here?
I talked with a friend who said: I guess we know you aren’t ready to have babies
And the ladies at church made jokes about this being the best birth control
but I kept telling myself: I LOVE KIDS. And then I realized, I don’t LOVE KIDS, I love kids that I KNOW. That I spend a lot of time with. That I know their rules, and if I can put them in time out, or smack their little hands, or their favorite games to play, or songs to sing.
When it was over, I was ready to get headed back to my single life. Where I can sleep in if I want. Where I can stay up late if I want. Where I control my schedule. Where I can spend time with the kids I love on my own terms: in two hour blocks, in their house or at the park.