I don't know why this word "patience" keeps popping up today. It popped up in an e-mail from my agent and it seemed to be the word I wanted to tell my husband's business partner when I stopped by the evening yoga class and saw only a few people in class. Kind of a let down after seeing the huge crowd of yogis and yoginis at the grand opening. After running two yoga schools in Korea for 5 years, I know that everything worthwhile in life takes patience.
The problem is that when things aren't going smoothly or at the speed we'd like them to, we give up. We think we need to change something. Things and people will take their own sweet time to change. You can't change situations or people, you don't have control over that. All you can do is give love continuously, through all the ups and downs, and see what happens.
We are always looking ahead to the next thing and often forget how far we've come in life. Today marks the day I have blogged for 60 days! It may not seem like much when you look at an entire year. When I try to imagine blogging for 365 days, It feels impossible. It feels like trying to scale Mt. Everest in one day or count grains of sand or something. The only way I can continue is to take each day as it comes. I don't even know what I'm going to write and sometimes I'm not sure I have anything interesting to say, but I keep at it.
So, today I celebrate the small victory of writing continuously for two months. I remember someone asking me, before I started my 365 days of writing, if I only blog or write when I'm inspired. I think I used to steer clear of the computer when I felt down or didn't have anything interesting to say. Now I just go to my keyboard and start typing. I have no idea what will come out, but it's all part of the process for me. Sometimes I feel so much enthusiasm, other times I feel down in the dumps and there are also times when I don't have much to say. This is life.
This is an experiment. It's my experiment and I have to remember that. I'm doing this for me so that I can remember the time when I wrote everyday for an entire year and what that was like. I am doing this because I believe those with patience persevere.
Anyone who has ever run a business knows that there are times when you can't believe how great business is going and times when you are sitting around twiddling your thumbs waiting for people and thinking in the back of your head, "How am I going to pay the rent?"
Anyone who's ever had children (I do not but I have learned quite a bit from my friends who do) knows that there are times of joy, love and awe when you look at these miraculous beings in front of you and there are times when you'd like to go to the store and return your children like you would a sweater (especially when they are screaming at the top of their lungs in a department store.) But you don't return your children because you are committed to them through the thick and thin of it. Children can be the greatest teachers because they make you feel the full spectrum of life, they test your patience and there is no guarantee that children will behave exactly as you'd like them to. You have to have patience with them.
How can we develop patience? I'm learning that I'm not so good at this part sometimes. I need to step back a bit and let things happen. All I can do is keep watering my intentions. The seeds have been planted and if I take care of these plants of mine, one day they will blossom. I am not going to throw in the towel at the slightest bump in the road. I will maneuver over and around the bumps, up the hills, down the hills, through the tunnels, through the dark clouds, hail, snow, thunder, and even sun. What else can I do but take each moment as it comes.
So, hurray for 60 days!..this is what I'm celebrating today in this moment. At least I had enough patience to make it this far. All I can do is keep breathing, keep putting one foot in front of another, keep loving and keep going no matter what life throws my way.