365 Lessons-Lesson 8: Create Space

I want to share these lessons with you. I am challenging myself to writing 365 lessons...a lesson for each day of this year. You can check these lessons out on my blog:
http://www.lessonsfromthemonkimarried.blogspot.com/

Hope you will take this journey with me and follow along. If a lesson resonates with you, please leave a comment. Wishing you all a wonderful year. Peace, Kathy


As time passes, I find myself more and more protective of my time and space. These are two things that people seem to complain that they don't have enough of. I think it takes effort to make room for these in life, but it can be done.

When I was younger, I felt funny if I didn't have anything to do on Friday or Saturday night. I felt the need to plan my weekends. If I didn't have anything planned, I worried that I would regret that I had spent my weekend doing nothing.


Now, "nothing" sounds very appealing.

These days, I don't make many plans. I keep my schedule opened and leave empty space. There are things I do every day, like write, meditate, eat, etc., but these are just part of my daily routine. I like to be spontaneous. This weekend a friend came up from California. I hadn't seen him since last June when my husband and I visited him in California and took a trip down the coast.

The thing I loved most about our trip down the California coast with my friend, is that we didn't really have any plans, we just went with the flow. When he visited this weekend, it was the same.

I like to create space in my life for the spontaneous to enter. Sometimes I find answers I am looking for in this space. I am also protective of my space. I carve time out for myself everyday. I think this is very important. There are many people who have families and obligations who may say that this is impossible. I believe it is not impossible, it is necessary! If you have a family, maybe you can ask a spouse to take care of the children while you go take care of yourself. Maybe you can make a ritual of going to the health club, even if you don't workout, you could spend time alone in the jacuzzi/sauna/etc. If the weather is nice, it might be good to take a blanket and pack a picnic and go outside. Or you could carve out an hour every day where you get outside and walk.

There are times when you need to take responsibility by working or taking care of your family, but creating space can give you a wider perspective of your life. It takes you out of the closeness you have to what you are doing. It takes you out of the drama. You can look at your life from a fresh perspective, from a distance.

I like to do yoga and practice meditation. I find that these activities are wonderful for creating space around the every day drama of my life. I also love to walk. I try to do these activities on a regular basis.

I think it is also important to protect my space. Often times friends call and want to get together. People start to make demands on my time. If it feels like a demand, I find it's best to say, "No, I'm sorry I can't. Maybe some other time." These days I try to feel my body and sense whether I feel over extended or need space. I do this with all areas of my life. I am currently working on a book, so I decided to reduce my teaching hours this quarter. I try and keep my life simple. Many people may choose money over time, but I think time is the biggest luxury. By choosing time, I am also choosing space.

If my schedule is tight and I am overextended I become a slave to time. Even if I earn a lot of money, it is hard to fully enjoy it with the little time that is available.There's no time to think about dreams and ideas because I am like a hamster on a treadmill running faster and faster in circles. If space and time become priorities, I get perspective. I get off the treadmill. I see my life clearly. I have the space to create the life I want to live. I have this space because I have created it. With this space, the possibilities are infinite.