dying for...

This week I fell in love with a story. The book is called Dying for Cake by Louise Limerick and I am currently riding out the grief of having finished it and desperately wanting more.

It's a story close to my heart. A story about 5 mums in a coffee group who are vastly different in their personalties and mothering styles but regardless, close friends drawn together because of their common ground of maternal lovin.

I loved the style in which the author wrote. So so real, laugh out loud funny and not too many big crazy words for us more "simple folk" (me!)

My newest friends names are :

Joanna. Who was the one the book is named from. she was dying for a piece of cake. Overweight and dowdy, but so in tune with her 2 boys needs. she was the most traditionally motherly figure and really the true hero of the story and of the group of friends although she never knew it.


Susan. Educated sharp business women. always aware of the time, itching to get back into a more fulfilling role where she felt in control at all times


Clare.  My favourite character and probably the one I most relate too. was extremely artistic and passionate in her youth but gave it all away after her child was born. she begins to realise it's part of who she is and she needs it back. I love Clare because she is always late (much to Susan's disgust) and as I read of her day and how things made her inevitably late I found myself right there with her in full agreement and empathy.


Wendy. Seems very 'normal' but actually a bit of a dark horse. This is one area of the story where I felt uncomfortable and slightly ripped off as things are left far more unresolved than as if it were real life.

Evelyn. Her baby is missing. she is silent and in a psychiatric ward. Although I have no personal experience with psychosis I am amazed at the authors interpretation. I love how Evelyn's thoughts are expressed. and in the end I was left with a feeling of such pity for her and you'll have to read to understand why but a feeling of awe after she did the the most self sacrificial thing a mother could do, even though her own family and friends could not understand her at all.

I wish it were a series. Or a weekly catch up over coffee and of course cake.

Copper Tone

A few years ago my hair styling guru took a very long vacation which forced me against my will to find another stylist. Oh, it may be immaterial to some but who cuts the coiffure is an issue of matter to me. I went to the most popular man in the place and he was fabulous with a pair of shears even if each haircut dominated the entire morning because he was a frequent-pause-to-tell-a-story type of guy. I just made sure that I quickly accepted that my 45 minute slot would NEVER finish in under 90 minutes. Never.

Even though I missed my former stylist and pined for his return, the replacement soon created stylist-client pleasant bliss. Until the incident.

I have long locks. I have hair shorn above the ear (Dorothy Hamill phase but then again in graduate school when a smooth talking and uber-sexy Italian man in London talked me into it….I didn't love the haircut but oh how I loooooved the haircut provider). JohnnyMac is not obsessed with hair and while I am sure he prefers it long, he is a modern man and realizes its my hair and I shall do with it what I like. And since I already live in his cave, the long hair is merely for aesthetics and not something by which to drag me around.

I once dated a man, he of the worst gift giving ever, and once at a party a friend of mine from college was talking about my very short hair back in the day. His comment (which took me by surprise) was that his wife would never be allowed to cut her hair. I am sure (not a bit) he was joking but over one more sip of martini I said, “Well, let’s just break up NOW, Archie Bunker.”

So one day as I sit in my new stylist chair, I tell him I want highlights. Not chunky- monkey -Cindy Lauper style highlights but just-back-from-Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat-sunkissed-around-the-temple highlights. He concurred but added the highlights would look smashing if we also lightened the whole coif. Mmmmm. Lightening the brunette? I vacillated between yes and no. He indicated we would go just a shade or two lighter. OK. Lighten away my Doyenne.

Hair color is not a quick process as many of you know. And by "know" I mean, know from a friend telling you. I am sure those blond tresses are your goldeny blond birthrights. And since it is not a quick process, time slowly ticks by but I look forward to what lies under all that potion.

And then the big reveal. He, smiling like a kitty on a brand-new satchel of catnip day, turns me in the chair to the mirror.

WOW, I say.

And there are several kinds of WOW.
WOW like I just found a smashing pair of Christian Louboutin’s in my size on sale for 100.00.
And WOW like I just heard someone talk about their jock itch.
And my WOW from the chair was NOT the shoe on sale kind of WOW.

Him: What do you think?
Me: It’s lighter (said with poker face which is rare for me.)
Him: It’s gorgeous
Me: Ummmm, it’s copper
Him: It’s multi-tonal
Me: It’s multi-tonal copper
Him: Its auburn. –ish.
Me: Copper. In fact, excellent camouflage for PENNIES.
Him: Darken it up a bit?
Me: How quickly can that occur?

Luckily for me, I learned my hair lightening lesson and the yummy icing on the cake was my stylist eventually returned.

And once, just for fun, I asked him about highlights.
“In your hair,” he asked. “NO.”
Perfect. I will keep him forever.

JennyMac

Visit my blog: www.letshaveacocktail.com

FACEBOOK WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND. IGNORE.

I've deleted my facebook page. For the second time this year. And dare I say it for the last time.

"What's such a big deal about that?" and "What's so bad about facebook?" you may be thinking. And my answer is nothing. For some people. For me however the issues run deep. Far below the surface of innocent social networking. Somewhere deep inside of me is a murky place that is calling out for approval and acceptance from all the wrong places. A place where I can show the "cool" people from my past that hey, I turned out ok.

The "Look at me! Look at me!" is a far cry from living for an audience of One. I'm creating an image of myself that I don't believe I am entitled to create.

That and it is so easy to turn on quickly to check my messages and stay browsing for an extra 20 minutes. I shudder to think of the time I have spent wasted on there, snooping through other people's "life image's". Yes there are great things about the site. I have found such satisfaction in finding long lost friends and rekindled many old friendships through facebook. I fear though in the process that I may have damaged some also in the real world. Friends who I would visit or call to catch up with before FB now are quickly caught up on with a quick scan of their page.The relationship realness gets lost. (and then it's also really weird when you finally do bump into them in the real world and they still know everything that's going on in my life). Weird.

I've become a hermit.I turned from someone who couldn't stand being stuck home for two days straight to now sighing in relief that I can sit at the computer instead of actually interacting with anyone face to face.

I've also gained a good 6 kilos since getting a computer. I used to be out walking a lot. Because I enjoyed it and it was part of my day.

My house has been less clean.

My kids see my back at the computer far too often during the day.

This is the verse I have screaming at me during all of this:
Everything is permissible, but not everything is helpful. Everything is permissible, but not everything builds up.1 Corinthians 10:23

I truly believe that this seemingly small act is a big chunk of de-cluttering my life. I feel that I am finally being obedient as I have been plagued with thoughts and desires to get rid of this from my life all year. I justified it and tried to discipline myself in this area. I did start to spend less time on there but there is also the vanity and self promotion that is rearing it's ugly head in me. A desire in my heart is to learn humility and I can't be chasing after that while stressing over showing only the best parts of my life on facebook. I never shared my blog there as many of you do because I never wanted certain people knowing my real thoughts and struggles of daily life. I wanted my blog to be real. Not a show. I wanted my facebook profile to be cool.

I have a Dream...

'Inspire & Dream'

mixed media 

by sweetmango

I have a Dream...
by sweetmango.

As I write this, I am sitting at my large desk in the corner of the room that is used to create my art, paintings in both acrylic and oil, mixed media, photography, in fact anything that I can lay my hands on.  Except, aside from the small space that I have cleared for my laptop and an even smaller space for my coffee, there is no space on this desk.  This desk over the past few weeks has become the dumping ground for 'things' as I have made my way through the house organising, sorting, and generally re-designing my life through my surroundings.

I sit here, full of hope, new paths laid out before me, I am surrounded by choices and I continue to make what appears to be the right choice each and every time I see a crossroads before me.  This desk is right at this moment complete and utter chaos, yet every other room in the house is clean, re-designed, organised and it feels like the future I see before me, so I have in essence begun to create in the present moment the dream of my future.  This desk though, represents the part of me that can overwhelm some people, it overwhelms me too, but not for long and not very often, but sometimes, everything piles upon my shoulders and weighs me down in the most crippling of ways. Fear.

As of February this year I became a single mum of 3 kids.  I have a son, who on Halloween, will turn 8, he is one special kid, raising him is like raising the likes of the Dalai Lama, no really, that is what it feels like sometimes.  He is so wise and compassionate that sometimes I have no words.  Like the time when he was around 3 and I was getting into the car with him, I put my bag in and turned to him and told him to jump in the car... he stood there transfixed, deep within himself a million miles away from me.  The late summer sun shone brightly upon us and I once again a little louder asked him to jump in the car, slowly he turned his head as though he was moving through molasses.  His eyes came to rest upon me and he asked me, " Mama, do you think that God gave us a shadow so that we could see the reflection of our soul and know that we are never really alone?" So, yeah, like I said, sometimes raising my eldest son is a gift beyond words.  The next two, a red haired girl with hazel/brown/green eyes and olive skin and blond haired boy with the bluest pair of eyes you ever saw are unlikely yet perfectly suited twins.  Yes twins! So many people have said to me, "I just dont know how you do it, raise twins?" to which I always reply, with a laugh, "Well it is not like I can say that it is too tough a job for me and hand one of them back is it??!!  You do what you have to do, and when you finish doing that you begin the next job, that is how you raise twins".  I must be doing ok because they will turn 5 a week before Christmas.

Now, I digress, what I was trying to point out is this....I AM TIRED. really really tired.  I am worn out after 7 and a bit months of doing this solo, which I must point out was my choice, I was the one that ended the relationship.  I honestly feel like Cinderella, I dont stop, last night I was ironing at midnight and I had been doing it for over 2 hours!!  When did my life become this? This is not part of my grand plan, my new direction. Sigh.  But, you know what? Right now, right at this very moment it is what it is, it is part of my journey.  Yes I am overwhelmed, yes I am swamped but right now I am doing the best that I can.   Let me say it again for all of you who are feeling the same way WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN.

So there

My house reflects my current situation, 90% is going with the flow, handling it and looking good on the inside and the outside, but 10% is a mess, 10% is so overwhelmed with everything that some mornings, some nights it is too much to contemplate.  But I have figured something out...I just need to tackle it all one thing at a time. Now I know this sounds obvious but sometimes we need to be reminded of these simple reciepes for creating a better life.

One thing at a time.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the whole picture that we are left reeling with no idea how to reach our goals, so the answer is to break it down sisters, break it down. Choose one big-ish job each day and take it on, do not look up and do not focus on anything else just this one task assigned for the day.

Today my task is this desk, and I am rewarding myself when I accomplish this task because this last area has been haunting me, teasing me, because you see, the thing is that so much of my future relies upon this desk, in fact everything i want relies upoon this desk. Next week I begin full time studies in Interior Design and Decor specialising in Advanced Design.  It is my dream, it is my future and it assures the future of my children.  My dreams revolve around this desk.  I think that is why this last area has become such an issue, deep down I am scared.

What am I scared of? Failing? The responsibility of this whole endevour? Not being able to find the time to fullfill my roles as student, mother, lover and the role of being me, Mango?

Yes I am scared of all of those things, but what scares me the most is being successful... true. I am scared of succeeding of doing it all and more and being even bigger and better than I am now. Why, you ask? Because I have become accustomed to living on next to nothing, of stuggle, of finding happiness when there is no money, finding happiness when there is no food, finding happiness when there would appear to be nothing .... I am scared of having it all.

See, even I laugh when I write that, I really do. What a crazy thing to be scared of, but crazy or not, it is a truth.  So now it is out there, it is not so bad as it feels inside of me all alone, now I have shared it with all of you it is far less a potent force upon my sub-concious and I am now able to face it and challenge its ridiculous notions.  Because that fear is like my messy crazy desk, it is only 10% of my thoughts, 10% of who I am, and it is a minority, so I am having a coup, i am overthrowing the dictator of my mind that says I am not worthy of success.  I elect to have my thinking done by the 90% of my brain that knows I am more than capable of the job description that is my current life and future dreams.

As for the desk, well after I finish writing this and drink the last of my coffee, I will do the dishes, put on a load of washing then complete the re-designing of my desk, everything will have its place and it will remain there, because over the last few years I became confused as to who I was, but now, now I know who I am, I have a strong idea of who I want to be and who I am becoming and now that the 10% minority dictator has been disposed it is time for celebration.  A celebration of the soul, of life and of being 100% authentically me.

oh and in case you are wondering, my reward that I am giving myself the minute this desk is completed?

A dress and a skirt, yes *insert smile* a dress and a skirt that I love, two pieces of clothing that are me.  That is my reward because we all need to reward ourselves for the big milestones dont we? and what better way to reward ourselves than with things that makes us feel on the outside the way we feel on the inside...I feel free, I feel flowing and I feel feminine!

 

How is your desk looking?

sincerely

Mango

Always view the world with Love and Compassion.

my blog

My Part of the World

This month our lovely editor Carly has asked Womans World contributors to talk about what's happening in their part of the world.

I live in Melbourne, Australia and two days ago we started daylight savings. We turn our clocks forward an hour which means more daylight at the end of the day instead of at the begining. I LOVE daylight savings, but I hate this transition period.

It's kinda cold here in Melbourne still, even though we keep getting little teasers of warm spring weather, most days are a little drizzly, a lot windy, and cold enough to keep me from wearing my pretty summer dresses and open toe sandals.

I've diligently set my alarm at 6am both yesterday and today in the hopes of getting up early enough to do some pre-work exercise. But the dark mornings, and the drizzle, and the cold are keeping me in bed.

But there's an energy in the air at this time of year, things are gearing up and it's exciting. The days are getting longer and warmer, summer is on the way, and the holiday season too (not to mention my birthday). I've booked my leave with work and have many things to look forward to. I love summer.

Do you have daylight savings where you live? How do you cope with the transition period? Are you a summer girl or a winter girl?

What's happening in your part of the world?

ABB x

Broken Open

My desire is to live a real life. My aspiration is to live with my heart wide open. My resolve is that both can be painful.

My BIG “broken open” experienced happened 10 years ago with the death of my father. I could have never understood, then, what would prove to be the beginning of a new way of life for me. My dad and I had a....tough relationship, that unfortunately never got resolved before his passing of cancer. You know those happy endings that you see on the television or in movies??? the ones where love is professed from the death bed and the goodbyes are handled so eloquently? Well that was not so for me and my dad when he past.

In fact I have to tell you for about a year I could not watch those scenes without leaving the room. I would think, through hot tears,”what a load of #%*@, that is not how it happens! there are not always happy endings!”.....well not the way you envision happy endings to be anyways.

As painful as this time was, it would prove to be the beginning of the rest of my life. Looking back I can see that for me it was a time of painful rebirth, a time of being broken open. I had measured myself by how I thought my dad seen me and now with him gone I would have to be stripped down of those thoughts and open up to new possibilities of who I really was and more importantly, who I wanted to be.

Thus my “broken open “ process began and the layers began to slowly get peeled back. Sometime this was a conscious process and sometimes, by the grace of God, things were put in my path to help me along the way. It only is now that I recognize the magnitude of all that has brought me to this place of freedom. And in freedom I do not mean a life of pain free, struggle free, problem free living. What I mean is living in the freedom of my Creators love, living in the freedom of realizing that life is so much more than what we see and what we are shown.

 Living in the freedom of knowing that what we do here matters, and love is really all we need. These thing were written on my heart when I was created, they were sewn into my DNA, stitched into my thoughts and woven into my soul. I just had to bring them to life. I had to be awaken to the truth that was already inside of me.

When I was broken open I heard God’s voice for the first time. He/She told me, “Everything is going to be alright, I am going to take care of everything. You don’t have to do anything, anymore.”

I always thought that I had to fix things. I always thought that I was fully responsible for everything. I was a child when I began to think these things and they followed me into my “adult” life. Well how can anyone be responsible for all things???!!! Now I see the ...well...lets be honest, the craziness of that way of thinking. Now I understand the burden I felt, most of my life...whoa!

But when I decided to allow myself to start a new journey, a new life old ways started to slowly be replaced with new thoughts and new truths. I began to recognize the lys that were in my life and see them in a way of not blaming anyone for them, but just seeing them for what they were...lys that were blocking my view, lys that were stealing my joy, lys that where holding me back from living a full life.

I remember when I was a few years into this journey. We were camping and I was starting a stage of looking to literature for guidance and truth. I was reading a book called “Captivating” at the time. A book about unveiling the secrets of a woman's soul.....

I had a dream in which I was hanging in the sky with God and one of my close girlfriends.

We were over the ocean looking down on a small forested island. There was a great peace and calmness as we looked down. When I looked up at God and my girlfriend my chest began to hurt and I clutched at it, saying to God,” My heart, it hurts so much.” and God said to me, “That’s because I am pealing back the layers.” When I woke up my chest still hurt.

Thinking about that still brings up such emotions. I am moved deeply by the changes that have happened in my life. I realize now, that it is a choice. My spiritual belief challenges me to choose a life of freedom that has been given to me freely, and then bought for me to prove the love of a Creator who wants nothing more than to have a relationship with me.

I am no different then anyone else. I have nothing special that makes me stronger or more capable.

We were all marked by God’s love when we were created, the choice is ours whether we are going to trust that love.

Having a spiritual life, having God , a higher power, Allah, whatever you want to call it, guiding you, being your beacon in what can be a dark world; does not mean that there is no longer dark times, or sadness and hardship. What it does mean, however, is that you have somewhere to go, you do not do it along, there are possibilities and there are answers.

I now look at life in a way were I am not always trying to avoid troubles. I now put my energy in the now and say, “Ok life, what do you have for me today? How are you going to grow me today?”

So today life grew me with an email. An email that was sent to my niece in Alberta, (another province) via Facebook from a friend of The Rock Star (my 15 year old son). He had sent it to her because she was the only on Rock Star’s face book page that had the last name as him. He wanted her to know that the Rock Star was hanging around with kids that were questionable and doing questionable things.

This friend was concerned and had tried to talk to The Rock Star but felt that he had not heard so he was wondering if my niece would kindly pass this info on to the Rock Stars parents so they could deal with the situation....

(I am changing my view of Facebook...though that was not the life lesson here....lol)

So my niece in turn told her dad, my brother, who in turn gave us a call yesterday. Lots of emotion goes through a mothers body in these moments.....and as those emotions were going through my body I told myself, “ You are living a real life.”

This one email brought so many opportunities of love, open hearts, and community..things that are key to a spiritual life. Immediately this brought The Horticulturalist and me together. How are we going to deal with this, what do we know about The Rock Star, how does this make us feel, where is God in all this....then I have the heart to heart with my brother, he gives great big brother guidance and advice, we talk to our neighbors “Can you watch The Scientist while we deal with this?” “Of course, we love The Rock Star, here are our prayers, here is our guidance...please be there for us when we are at this stage...” Tears are shed, I love the Rock star, we love the Rock Star...who DOESN’T love The Rock Star????

The Rock Star comes home from school....open conversation, teaching, realizing, frustration, love concern, doubt, lys, half truths, the truth, prayer, getting the the heart of the matter, anger, disappointment, unconditional love, acceptance, confusion, embarrassment, wonder.....

These are some of the things that can come out of that sort of situation...a real life situation.

And what about that friend, caring so much to go and take the time to do that... The Rock Star was touched by that. Lots to learn in the teenage world, lots to learn in the parents of the teenage world...it’s all real life, in a real world , with real problems and above all REAL LOVE!

Things are okay here.

Like I said to The Rock Star, “Someone/Something above is looking out for you...someone is trying to keep you safe...now it is your choice as to what you are going to do with all you have learnt today.”

This is one of many bumps in the road, but for now, in this moment I am peace filled in the knowledge that we did not face this alone.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers. they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fires, you will not be burned; the flames will not send you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2&3...love notes from God via The Bible (thanks Dee)

"Find comfort in pain." -James Blunt messages from God via main-stream music

Saved By 'The Lion'

 

I love my hair short! Recently I had this great idea to let it grow until my birthday, IN MAY.

Today, I'm thinking that was not such a good idea! It's in that 'In between stage,' and I'm having a bad hair day, for the second day in a row. Not long enough for a pony tail, yet too long to mouse and go, my hair is giving me the blues!

It's casual Friday, and spirit day at the university where I teach. I'm rocking a polo style shirt, and ball cap both displaying the school's mascot, 'Golden Lion.' That's as good as it's going to get today!

Now, I'm reconsidering letting my hair grow! I have two choices, wait a couple of weeks when my stylist can get to me, or go with the lady and Wal-Mart, who jacked my hair up once before. Hmmm, I'm caught on the fence!

Pet Shop

With 4 kids in our busy little home we haven't got around to getting a pet yet. There has been talk and consideration over the years but Gooseman and I still haven't been brave enough to take the plunge and add to our energising brood.

There was a while back where we tossed up having a dog or a third child. I won and got my gorgeous baby girl. (And then a bonus prize of one more 18 months later). Now as the baby days are fading rapidly, we feel the need to add to our family. Gooseman feels the kids would benefit from the child/pet bond and responsibility it would bring. Me, I just want something cute and small to give a cool name too.

What to get? We have all agreed a dog would be most fun. But also the most expensive and work to look after. Gooseman and Miss 2 would settle for a cat, but cats give me the total creeps. We were offered a bunny in a cage when we brought our house so the previous owners would not have to bother moving it "Oh sure, no worries, the kids would love it" I said without thinking (as I do). Gooseman was not, however, so accommodating and I had to make a rather embarrassing phone call to say we would not be requiring their little bunny after all. Mice. ew. Guinea pig (small step up from mice).

Master 9 and 3/4 begged me this week to bring home his class budgie. I initially thought no, but he was persistent and I thought "what the heck", I never brought home the class pet when I was at school (I think it was a mouse) oh and Mexican walking fish...yeah pass.

So I went into school yesterday afternoon and picked him up with "Buddy the budgie". As I walked out of the class I (half) joked to his teacher "hopefully you still have a bird on Monday!" She had a look of utter horror on her face and asked if we had cats. "No. A 2 year old" was my answer. Then we bolted to the car before she broke Master 9's heart and retrieved her bird back. I was trying to drive real careful because I didn't want scrambled bird in my car.

We got home, dumped Buddy on top of the stereo cabinet and took off out to go to the school disco. In our rush I hadn't bothered to light the fire or shut the curtains. Gooseman arrived home a couple of hours later to find Buddy standing on one foot with all his feathers puffed out stone cold still. Our house was freezing! He moved him to a warm room and placed a towel over his cage, but the poor thing was completely shell shocked. I went to bed praying that Buddy would survive not only the night but the whole weekend at our house. Thankfully he moved this morning and stopped standing on just one foot! He has also made a few alarming squawks which Master 9 assures me is of normal "Buddy behaviour".

I sat watching him while I downed my green tea before and decided a bird is definitely not for me. It boringly stands there in a tiny cage, it's almost depressing. Gooseman calls him "the flying rodent" (only he doesn't actually fly).

I would really love a Shetland pony. Wonder what Gooseman will say to that?

Posted by Widge from My Guide to Surviving and Enjoying Life's Mundane

You might also like:

Behind The Scenes

We planned a family outing today. Miss 4 had a birthday party to attend by 10am 40kms away from our home. I've stressed before, I'm NOT a morning person, neither is Gooseman and really, I think our kids are following suit. The yelling family lived up to their name this morning rushing to get out of the door as we hunted high and low for master 10's missing shoe. He only has one pair and I seriously considered him going the whole day only wearing one as the party and the clock ticked closer to ten.

Sometime as I had a complete meltdown, all but threw the party girl into the car and threatened to leave the rest of the family behind, Gooseman found the offending shoe. In the bottom of the toybox. Doors were slammin, kids were crying, parents were huffing. Car went screeching out the driveway. Bye poor neighbours (I truly hoped they didn't think we were heading to church this particular sunday). We had 15 mins to get there.

I had got up on time this morning. My problem being I just go so sloooow. Gooseman slept in longer, got himself ready, showered and shaved for longer than it takes me to put on my full face of make up! Played around with his cell phone for ages (note this it is important later) and to give him some credit, changed miss 2.

I was furious that gooseman was fiddling with his phone. As we took off down our street he plugged it into the cigarette lighter hole and it became a GPS device. A women informed me we were to turn right at the next intersection. duh. really! "I know how to get there!! you didnt need to waste so much time being fancy with your phone!! that is going to be soooooo annoying the whole way!!" (we still hadn't even left our neighbourhood). The women's voice continued. Each time I loudly sighed. I turned the radio up louder to drown her out once we reached the motorway.

The whole car was eerily quiet during the ride except for this irritating women's voice that belonged on an aeroplane.
Back when we brought our car we named our GPS lady Ping. We thought it was great fun when she would randomly speak to us in Japanese because it was programmed in Japan and she let us know when we were heading into the ocean. Our family made a game of it and chorused "Thank you Ping" each time she made an announcement. We've since worked out how to turn her off.
The time reached 10am, by my calculations we still had a long way to go. Gooseman turned off unexpectedly (following European Ping's advice of course). I wouldn't have turned that way. The reason I had it in my head that it was going to be such a long journey is because I had mapped out a very long route in my head. I hadn't thought of going this particular way. In no time we were almost there. The journey that I had planned on being at least 45 mins had been shortened to just under half an hour. whoops.

I apologised to Gooseman. He accepted and we went on with what we had planned for our family day out. We dropped Miss 4 off at her party place and took the other 3 out for early morning (for us!) drinks at a cafe' by the beach. We explored the beach and climbed a big rock cave called "Cave Rock". Picked up Miss 4 from her party and went to visit a local Heritage park called Ferrymead.The day however was still stale from the stink that had been made earlier on. The kids didn't listen well, ran off in all directions and moaned when it was time to move on from something they'd had fun at. We all came home tired and Gooseman and I feeling miserable with head colds. It should have been a fun day. The weather was absolutely perfect. So warm people were swimming in the sea as if it were summer! There wasn't any wind or a cloud in the sky. We were in a beautiful place with glistening water that literally sparkled , surrounded by green hills, amazing homes and snow capped mountains to be seen in the distance. We rode a tram, visited an old school and an amazing little movie theatre that sold tickets for just $1.30. I had wanted so badly to enjoy this day. I looked through the photos and realised we had such grumpy faces. A real eye opener to take a chill pill when things don't always go to plan. There are always going to be hiccups. Especially with young kids. It's so easy to expect too much of them sometimes.

I read a post from Amy at Havenspace yesterday that I should have applied to my life this morning. It's about how women have the power of influence. And today I used mine the way I shouldn't have. Thankfully mercy is new in the morning.

Posted by widge at My Guide to surviving and enjoying Life's Mundane

I MADE IT THROUGH MY BIG SHOW

I MADE IT THROUGH SET UP WITHOUT PASSING OUT :) SO HERE'S A PREVIEW, MORE PICS TO FOLLOW AFTER SHOW.

































THIS IS THE DAY OF THE SHOW & SOME OF MY PEEPS, MAKING THEIR PILES OF GOODIES AROUND MY TENTS. ALTHOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE A GLORIFIED YARDSALE, IT WAS ACTUALLY AN UPSCALE HERB FAIR,WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE AS GOOD A DISPLAYER & STAGER I AM, MY "PEEPS" KILL EACH OTHER TO GRAB STUFF AWAY :) & EVEN THOUGH IT STARTED AT 10:00AM, THEY WERE THERE AT 7:00AM, I GOT THERE AT 8:15 & THEY TOLD ME I WAS LATE LOL






















THESE ARE MY DEAREST FRIENDS & "PEEPS" :) FROM LEFT DALES FRIEND (FORGOT NAME), I KNOW I'LL NEVER HERE THE END OF IT LOL),LUANN & DALE(BROTHER & SISTER)& MY HUSBAND, MY BIGGEST PEEP OF ALL & NO, ALTHOUGH THEY WERE THERE AT 7:00AM & IT DIDN'T START UNTIL 10:00AM THAT IS NOT A CAN OF BEER IN LUANNS' HAND, IS IT?








THE GIRLS ENJOYING THEIR GOODIES & A WONDERFUL DAY



THE CROWD WAS THERE BEFORE I GOT THERE, ALMOST SOLD OUT BEFORE IT STARTED, WHAT GREAT PEEPS I HAVE :)

Melanie's Song

This is one of my all time favourite songs Breathe.

It's been tainted with sadness as a person I know had this played during her funeral. I'm extremely reluctant to call her a "friend" as that would be placing more closeness to our relationship than there actually was. But it was a girl I worked with for a year when I had a part time job in a clothes store 6 years ago. She had a huge impact on me and more than anything I wish I had been more equipped/bold/friendly to have made one on her.

The story of her life that she shared with me during those late night shopping hours are never going to leave me. Her life saddened me. Made me angry towards those who hurt and abandoned her. At the same time I was in awe of how incredibly hard working and generous she was.

Melanie became a mum when she was only 15 years old. Her own mother had died when she was young. She had spent her life shipped between relatives. When I met her she was 25, a year and a bit older than me at the time. We connected straight away because we were both young mums other than that our backgrounds and lives were vastly different. She worked full time to provide for her daughter who was a very mature wise little girl for her 10 years. I caught snippets of her life every so often when she would share such personal details during odd random moments. I learned she was in fact the mother of 2, her second child a full blood sibling to her first had to be given up for adoption when the fathers family refused to support her or even acknowledge the new baby. She was 19 and had to give him up to a family who would love and protect him. This broke my heart. I viewed her in a completely different light from then on.

She left our store and went to work in another. We kept in contact only visiting each other while we were working though. There were a few times that she invited me to a party, I was pregnant by then with number 3 child and it didn't appeal. I now wish I had made the effort.

She would share with me about these awful sounding guys she would go out with for a short while. I look back and I was judgemental and I had absolutely no right to be. I believe that's what kept a distance between us. From me embracing her and loving her.

She always had a cold, or a head ache (she put it down to the drink she'd had the night before). She kept on working and I never remember her being away sick. Like all of us her life was going to be perfect when she lost that last 5 kgs. She did. She looked great. She didn't feel it though.

I left my job to have my baby and we moved towns so I no longer visited that particular mall anymore. It wasn't until about a year later that I found out she had been diagnosed and gone under treatment for leukaemia. When I found this out about her I was shocked. This can't happen, she's had more than her fair share of life's hardships. I prayed for her a lot. I had this vision of me visiting her in hospital, making sure she was saved, becoming her friend, making her all better. In reality that wasn't the case. I had heard she couldn't see visitors during the radiation, even her own daughter's visits were limited. I was in and out of that hospital a lot at that time, because my baby girl had clicky hips and needed frequent visits. I enquired after her at reception one day, she had been discharged.

Months passed and I heard no more. I figured she must have been recovering. I heard she had a bone marrow transplant. I later learned it hadn't worked. I finally tracked her down and got in contact with her. She wanted to see me. I had just had my 4th baby at this stage and I organised for the other kids to be cared for so I could spend time with her. I was incredibly nervous... I remember driving into town and hearing on the radio that Anna Nicole Smith had been found dead that morning.
I met Mel in a cafe' and we had coffee and lunch. I felt awkward, like I had an ulterior motive, which I guess I did, that's why I was so nervous. It was obvious she was not getting better and she had began making "arrangements". She had selflessly sent her daughter over seas to live with her father so she could start the school year fresh, on time even though it meant the possibility of never seeing her again. Mel was not well enough to fly. Again I was heartbroken as she put her child's needs ahead of her own. Another old workmate later joined us for lunch and I never got around to asking her "how she was possied with JC".

I left that lunch with a feeling of failure and regret. I had prayed that God would give me everything I needed to say to her that day, so I just had to believe this was his will. Had the opportunity never arisen or was it not part of His plan? Or had I chickened out?

We kept in contact via text and a few weeks later I was called to the hospital with the information that this could be the last time I see her. I prayed. Oh did I pray about it. I had friends praying all over for her too. My husband suggested I pray for her while I visited. I wrote it down on a piece of paper before I left because I wasn't used to praying out loud with anyone .

When I got there I was disappointed that the same lunch friend was there too. Mel looked bad. I have never seen anyone that sick before. She looked like a little old lady, every scrap of hair was missing from her body, she was a strange yellow colour. My heart was lead. It had such an overwhelming heaviness I can't barely begin to explain. We couldn't stay long, she had lost control of her bowels and we reassured her not to be embarrassed. Things like that just don't matter when the realness of life is forced upon us. All I could do was offer her the piece of paper I had written on, intending for me to use as "notes". I said goodbye, afraid to hurt her with my touch she was so fragile.

It's not until now that I realise I had it all wrong. Where alot of people of faith get it wrong. It's not about having motives, to get others believe the same as we do. We can't brainwash or bully others into seeking salvation. It's about forming relationships and loving one another. If we JUST love everything else will fall into place. Imagine how different the world would be.

I'm never going to know what Mel's decision was and that too was obviously part of the plan. It is a constant reminder to me to have courage and to build relationships with the people that are purposely placed in my day to day life.

Names were changed

Workshifting for Life Balance

I thought I had this personal life vs. work life balance thing in check. When I worked for another company, it was easy to leave the office early to attend one of my son's sporting events or go serve cupcakes at a class party and not think twice about it. Those e-mails could be answered tomorrow. Those phone calls could wait a few hours to be returned. I had my priorities perfectly aligned. My son always came first.
But, now that I am working for myself, I am having a harder time segregating my two lives. Technology has provided us with some wonderfully life-enhancing tools: the internet, the iPhone, the laptop computer... it makes it wonderfully easy to work on the go.
My husband is a fabulous father who not only goes to all of our son's sports games, but the practices as well. He wants to be there to see what my son needs to work on so he is the best player he can be. It's how they bond - through sports. But my son always jokes about how "Dad's on his Crackberry" checking e-mails and taking phone calls while he's throwing the ball to my son with the other hand. So, how truly engaged and in the moment is he?
Now that I am working for myself, as a partner in Gangway Advertising agency, I find that the lines between my personal and work life are blurred more than ever. I have more to accomplish than ever before and I feel the heated breathe of time right on my heels, chasing me every minute of the day.
In the old days (you know, like two years ago) an agency would develop a campaign for a client, develop ads, negotiate a media buy and then we were off to the races. The ads would run in various publications or messages would play over the radio or TV and our job was to sit back and evaluate response and return on investment (ROI).
Social media is revolutionizing the world of advertising and it's such an exciting time to be in this field. At the same time, twitter never turns off. In social media content is everything. If you don't have engaging content that people will forward (or re-tweet) and comment on - you have nothing. In today's marketing world our clients have social media strategies that call for me to find, create and post content not only on a daily basis - but multiple times throughout the day. And then there's the research and the tracking involved in growing their base of followers.

With more to do than ever before and only so many hours in the day to do it - the struggle then becomes, how to fit it all in?! If you are doing multiple tasks at the same time, are you really able to give 100% to any one thing? I used to joke that "I worked my day job from 9 to 5, then went home to do my other full-time job - Motherhood." Now, I have to figure out a way to do both jobs at 100% at the same time. Oh yeah, and find time for my friends and personal interests. (Hi friends! Remember me!)
I envy the Gen Y'ers. This is the only life they've ever known and for them the integration between their work and personal life is seamless. But I'm an old dog trying to learn some new tricks. Let's hear it for the old dogs! Woot!
Is this new life better than the old way of life. In some ways, yes. in some ways, no. But there's no turning back. How do you balance between your personal and work life? Feel free to share your tips and tricks.


- Cynthia Smoot
Cynthia lives in Dallas, Texas. She is Mother to a nine year-old son, a Mommy Blogger who's blog Oh So Cynthia talks about her life as a working Mother and a Partner and Integrated Media Director for Gangway Advertising

I went all the way to Asia to spend time with myself

I went on a trip to Asia with a friend. I thought it was going to be a wonderful girls trip. About 5 days in i realized that what I wanted to [do/see/experience] were different than my companions. So I broke off and made my own way. We would meet up at night or in the morning and share our days or our plans.

The trip was [amazing/challenging/tiring/fun/beautiful/disgusting/long]. Along the way I got to see so many wonderful things. I fell in love with three different cultures {China, KOREA & Japan}. I tried three unique cuisines. I saw ancient architecture, shopped in large and small markets and traveled by all modes we could think ok. By [Plane/train/bus/subway/car/ferry/taxi].

Along the way I learned something’s about myself.

I could travel alone and be ok: In Korea my travel buddies wanted to spend more time in beauty parlor than seeing the sites. Both of the ladies I was with had been to Seoul or Lived there. So I was pretty much on my own. I would get up early and leave before they woke up. I would stay out all day riding around the subway on my own, booking trips, eating local food, visiting site, the DMZ, and enjoying Seoul on my own.

At first I was a little nervous to go out on my own into a city I had never been to. It was so empowering to be out on my own, making my way on my own. I loved every minute of it. I took my trip into my own hands and did everything I wanted. I left knowing I had done everything I wanted in Seoul.

Down falls of traveling alone: you have to count on the photographic skills of strangers. You take most of your pictures with one arm. Occasionally you forget to zoom out.

I am adventurous: I have a nervous stomach. I once had parasites that messed me up forever. So I was a little concerned about eating the local food. BUT I DID! I tried it all. RAW horse, fish with a head still on, stinky tofu, Kimchi, Korean BBQ, lotus roots & silk larva.

Some of it made me want to gag. Other food I LOVED. It was fun to be adventurous and try everything put in front of me.

Stinky Tofu in China, Pumpkin Gruel in Korea, Lotus Roots in Japan

I am strong: During the trip I walked at minimum of 6 miles a day. Up and down hills, across town, over all sorts of terrain. I dragged my butt up and down thousands of flights of stairs in and out of the subway. Most of it while carrying my 30lbs carry on bag. Sometimes in the pouring rain. ALL of it high temperatures and 100% humidity. There were days I thought I couldn’t go another step, but I did.

I hiked up all 3937 feet up to the top of Namsam tower. It made for a long night after hiking around all day, and walking down the third infantry tunnel at the DMZ. But I did it. Even after the Buff guys walking down said “She’ll never make it”. WELL SCREW YOU I AM STRONG, and I made it!

I can make friends anywhere: While in Okinawa I booked a dive trip. I was a little hesitant at first. I was supposed to go diving with one of the girls I was traveling with. She bailed. I pushed forward. There were two things I wanted to do. See the great wall and go Diving in Okinawa. The great wall fell through, I wasn’t going to let diving slip through my fingers. So I went. I made new friends.

The trip ended up being a lot of fun. I made SCUBA friends! We spent the day chatting and diving, swimming and chatting. We exchanged emails addresses and are now keeping in touch.

I also made friends in KOREA! I wanted to see the demilitarized zone, so I headed out on my own. I made friends with some of the Army guys on the trip. We ate silk larva together and hung out in iteawon after the tour was over. It was fun to meet people from all over the world and the US. To make friends. To spend time together. To enjoy new people.

I felt strong and confident on this trip. I had no fear. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like myself again. I wasn't hiding, I wasn't bogged down with work drama. I was me. IT was refreshing to be back to my old self. I know I didn't have to go all the way to China to rememeber who I am. Or all the way to Korea to learn about myself.

BUT the trip didn't hurt! The experince was once in a life time. And it was just what I needed to feel like myself again.

♥ Single Girl

Photoshop Diet

If you type 'Photoshop diet' into YouTube you get an alarming number of these behind the scenes photo manipulation videos, which leave me feeling rather amazed and sick at the same time. I believe it's great that technology is so advanced yet it also sickens me to think that the world sees such a distorted image. It saddens me that young girls across the globe look up to a fake image and sigh and say "I wish I looked that gorgeous/pretty/amazing/thin..." when in fact the image has been photoshopped to death!

This video is an older one which I am sure many readers will have seen yet I believe it is good to watch it again....
I invite you to share this with young girls you know.