It is obvious to all of us that women friendships plays a huge role in our lives, regretfully I did not learn this until my 30’s. Well, better late then never right! In the past it was so easy for me to cut a girlfriend off, if I felt I was not able to tolerate her character flaws (i.e. not punctual, not supportive, never returning my calls etc...), by doing this I totally disregarded their good characteristics. Who died and left me judge, I seriously needed to get off my high horse! I cut so many people off at one point, I wanted to throw a birthday party and barely had people to invite, had a huge reality check, feeling a great deal of sadness and hopelessness. Immediately I made a list of friendships I needed to restore. It took a while to restore these friendships, because my list was so freaking long. And of course, there were 1 or 2 people that were truly toxic and not good for my spirit, which I kindly continue to keep them out of my life.
I have learned it is not fair to expect our girlfriends to be perfect, each women in your life plays a role in your life. It is not realistic to hold all your girlfriends to an extremely high expectation. You maybe able to tell one friend all your marriage problems and not tell another friend, but that same friend may be your shopping buddy. Everyone has their role! Some friends you can have play dates with and have double dates with and some you cannot. There is always that one friend when things get really bad that you can always count on to be there, that is that particular friend’s role in your life, but this same friend may take 3 weeks to return an e-mail or a voice message. It is time we truly stop sweating the small stuff.
Before you cut a girlfriend off think about it, can you imagine if your friends cut you off every time you made a mistake (Nobody is perfect)? The standard I held my friends to were ridiculous, but yet when I made a mistake I wanted everyone to look pass it. Can we say DOUBLE STANDARD!
We all have friends who are tardy, always talking about some else, who cannot keep a secret, borrow things and do not return them, always talking about their self they never give you a chance to tell them about your day.
• If a friend is always tardy, even after you have mentioned several times, she does not respect your time. She is not going to change, deal with her according (do not rely on her to be on time)
• If a friend never returns items or money, even after you have brought to her attention it bothers you. Let it go, stop lending her things and deal with her accordingly. People only get away with what you let them get away with, stop being a doormat.
I can on and on with these scenarios, but I think you got the drift. Of course there are a few things that are unacceptable like.
• Verbal or Physical Abuse
• Out right lying
• Out of Control Drug Abuse
I hope my words have given some positive insight in making your friendships stronger. It is important for us to value our friendships and set healthy boundaries at the same time. Let’s celebrate our friendships by focusing more on the good and not the bad all of time.
thoughts of a sahm